‘Twas the Night Before …

A holiday gift to my colleagues in product management and product marketing…

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the firm,
Every dev team member was struck by the germ.
The code had to be finished right away and with care,
In hopes that on Xmas Day, they would not still be there.

The product managers were dreaming about their soft beds,
While visions of market requirements danced in their heads.
Personas, pcamps, pricing and analysis,
Makes you think – get to work and stop the paralysis

The sales team calls with just one more request,
It’s the demo again, something we just detest.
Of course it was something needed real bad.
To delay would only make sales really mad.

When on the conference call there arose such a clatter,
I shot from my chair, fearful of what was the matter.
The PowerPoint preso was up in a flash,
But the network was down – get the helpdesk on the dash.

Marketing was staring outside at the new-fallen snow
Wondering when they could join their friends down below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the CEO dressed in full Santa gear.

He carried a sack, all red, big and bright
It was just one more diversion from this long night.
He put his hand in, drew out envelopes that were hard,
No bonuses this year, just a “thanks” and $5 coffee gift card.

“So thank you, thank you” he called to one and all.
As our AV geek put the projection on the wall.
A last review of test cases was finally to occur
(And, to be honest, this last hour was one big blur.)

So the meetings were done, and code put to rest
Customers were happy and said we’re the best.
Another release met the deadline, got out the door,
We took a moment to lift our jaws from the floor.

The release may be out, and the dev team said good day
But the product management team knew there was more to say.
Positioning and material left to write,
With fears still that this could turn into another long night.

But, sales expected the PowerPoint today
It didn’t matter to them if it was a holiday.
To avoid their calls and emails during tomorrow’s time,
Working on these tools now was worth the dime.

I write the requirements and create the tools
I’m in product management, I’m no one’s fool!
The rest of my company may have left hours ago,
But the work never stops for me, this much I know.

My present will be waiting when the sales numbers are met,
And I meet the big forecast, and win the company bet.
I then get to use the frequent flier miles I have earned,
As I head to a sun-drenched beach (with no cell service) to get burned.

So, no matter what celebration of the holiday you observe,
There is enough credit, accolades and attention you deserve.
And if you’re a colleague in this product management land,
Stand up now… join me and give yourself a hand!

[And, If you’re thinking this is a career for you,
Think twice then again, before you do.
For while it is exciting and rewarding, full of joy, and fragile
Get ready for next year, for then we tackle Agile!]